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Self Renewal Involves
Letting Go of the Old
and Embracing the New.
Throughout the course of our lives we experience
many endings and many beginnings. In nature we
observe times when things
move slowly without visible
change - and then suddenly
an acceleration occurs followed by a transformation.
Daffodil shoots emerge from
the cold ground, and then
before we know it bloom in a
dazzling array of perfumed
beauty. Tree leaves which
have been green all summer
suddenly turn gold and within
a short time are blown to the
ground, the tree's branches
left bare. Transitions are as natural as night and day.
And so it is with our lives.
Life transitions are predictable changes in our lives
associated with a discontinuity with the past. With
each change we must give up the protective structures
which have carried us through and then face the world
anew with a sense of fragility and vulnerability. These
times of disruption may force us to test the limits of
our ability to adapt. However, with each transition we
have the opportunity to learn a great deal about our
inner coping resources and to ask ourselves what we
really want out of life. This period of self-reflection can
then lead to self-renewal and a new phase of stability
and eventual equilibrium.
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At times transitions are thrust upon us dramatically
and unexpectedly. Disabling accidents, the deaths
of those in our lives, divorce, the loss of a job, an illness - all of these events mean that we must leave
something behind and then adjust to a new way of living, even if we feel totally unprepared to do so. These
events can strike without warning and leave us in a personal crisis characterized by denial, anger, mourning
and withdrawal. But not all transitions emerge from negative experiences. Marriage, a new job, a move to a new city, the birth of a child, reacquaintance with an old friend - these events, which may be planned and expected, can also lead us into the process of a life transition.
Sometimes life transitions occur because we find ourselves in a rut. We may have the nagging feeling that something is wrong, although we can't quite put our finger on the reasons. Our lives are not going the way we thought they would and time is passing us by. We feel that it is time for a change. This can happen at any time, but it is most common during what Gail Sheehy has called the "predictable crises of adult life" which often accompany our decade changes ( that is, our twenties, our thirties, our midlife years, etc.).
As William Bridges pointed out in his book, Transitions, our life transitions are composed of an ending, a "neutral zone", and a new beginning. When a transition occurs, we need to give up
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